Note: this joke post makes no sense unless you know that I have a tendency to overreact to small discomforts and that my “online persona” is a very stupid, very smelly, ornery, self-pitying goat. I doubt that real goats suffer from self pity; I probably just offended them. So if you are a goat or love a goat, I apologize.


I feel like complete crap at the moment (cold level crap). So I had enough; I braved the cold temperatures and walked to the slaughterhouse.

The officials sized me up, pinched their noses and sent me away…”too smelly, too rancid, too old for human consumption” they said.

They did drive me to the woods and leave me out where the local coyotes can get to me.

They came up, howled in pain (stinky) and ran away…”too smelly, too old, too rancid for predator consumption” they concluded.


The game warden came by, put me in the back of a pick up truck, tethered…and drove me home where I head butted my way back into the house and am typing this.


February 22, 2015 Posted by | illness, whining | , , , , , | Leave a comment