A few days ago my wife thanked me for listening to “her troubles”. I said “oh, I am fine..that is the price I pay for…”…well never mind that.
But that did remind me of a scene from a 1971 movie starring Dustin Hoffman: it is called Who is Harry Kellerman and Why is He Saying Terrible Things About Me? It is a comedy-drama that is about a musician who has emotional and mental issues.
Sure enough I found the movie on Youtube. The Hoffman character is visiting his analyst and he imagines his analyst breaking into the song Don’t Tell Me Your Troubles (17:06 into the movie video)
It is the Ray Charles cover:
And that got me to thinking about my protocol (yes, this meme is a JOKE). Remember the song is about a guy in anguish because his “sweet love” left him, and he just doesn’t want to hear about anyone else’s troubles AT THAT TIME.
Basketball: Larry Bird Scores 60
Honest Best Man Speech
Easter Egg Hunt
Career Builder ads
Foghorn Leghorn gets his wave function collapsed
Other (possibly NSFW; some sexual humor)
Friends try on tights (gluteal nudity).
Ok, these films will never be known as “great cinema” (ok, they were sort-of bad films…all right…bad) but I loved Billy Jack and Born Losers. Tom Laughlin and Dolores Taylor did 4 of these (also: The Trial of Billy Jack and Billy Jack Goes to Washington and yes, I have all 4), though Ms. Taylor didn’t appear in Born Losers.
From Born Losers
Billy Jack gets involved
Billy Jack wants his money back.
From Billy Jack
The Ice Cream Shop episode
Whop you on that side of your face (Bong Soo Han actually did the kick)
Billy Jack takes on the townspeople
One Tin Soldier song:
A Dolores Taylor scene
Workout notes planks, McKenzie exercises, abs (3 sets of crunch, v. crunch, twist, sit backs), hip hikes, Achilles, rotator cuff.
pullups (5 sets of 10)
bench: 10 x 135, 10 x 165
incline: 2 sets of 10 x 140
military (dumbbell, seated, supported) 3 sets of 12 x 50
rows (dumbbell, single arm) 3 sets of 10 x 65
curls: 3 sets of 10 x 70, machine
pull downs: 3 sets of 10 x 160.
I was just a bit tired. And yes, these-a-days, I am trying to slow the rate at which I get weaker rather than get stronger.
You know something else about age: I saw the “stage” version of The Graduate. In this play, a 21 year old male college graduate is “seduced” by a woman who is twice his age (Mrs. Robinson). Mrs. Robinson is…well…on the verge of being too young for me! 🙂 (e. g., if I hit on her, *I* would be the lecherous old person in that picture!
The photo is from the play; the clip is from the movie.
The play: the Elaine’s fiance is not developed in the play (rather than being the macho jock as he is in the film) and Elaine is seen as being “daddy’s girl” in the play. Also, at the end, Mrs. Robinson pushes Elaine to “break out of it” in the play rather than what she does in the film.
I saw the Cornstalk production and it was quite good.
This is MY list and I admit that I am not consistent. Some I just find creepy; some I just like. You have professional killers, ruthless people, stalkers, sex criminals, rapists, cranky computers and…frogs. (ok, toads).
No, it isn’t a complete list, and these aren’t the most vile ones I can think of (at least some of them). But they are CREEPY….or…hoppy…or…not of this world….or…ok, plain ridiculous in a few cases.
Here they are, in no particular order:
Ok, he was your run of the mill James Bond Henchman.
The reason I like him:
Yes; he won a silver medal in the 1948 Olympic games in weightlifting (light heavyweight). He really was a strong man! He also did professional wrestling. And he was popular enough to have a commercial.
Blowfeld (various James Bond episodes)
Best quote (from You Only Live Twice): Chinese representative upon Blofeld changing the conditions of the deal: “That’s Extortion”. Blofeld: “Extortion is my business”.
This guy was a psychopathic killer and child rapist with no remorse; just plain creepy.
Anton Chigurh from No Country for Old Men
He is a professional killer who would kill you as easily as he’d look at you. But he is even creepier because, well, he kills on the principle of it…just because…well, he feels obligated, or, in his twisted mind, it is the right thing to do, or because a coin flip went a certain way.
This scene is among the creepiest:
First of all, I am talking about the *character* Salieri, and not the real person (who struck me as a pretty good guy). True, Salieri didn’t kill anyone, but he was a self-pitying, sexually repressed (*), back stabber who couldn’t be content with his own (considerable) success.
Note: to see what a complete worm he is, watch the “director’s cut” of Amadeus. It doesn’t come out as clearly in the usual version. Example: in the director’s cut, you understand why Mozart’s wife was enraged to find Salieri with Mozart at the end; Salieri really cruelly humiliated her in the director’s cut.
Here is Salieri getting “showed up” by Mozart. Note: in real life, the initial piece was a real Salieri piece and what it was turned into was a real Mozart piece.
(*) the real life Salieri had lots of kids and so wasn’t too sexually repressed. 🙂
Daniel Plainview: There Will Be Blood
This guy didn’t kill as many as the professional killers in other films, but was still cruel, cold-blooded and ruthless.
He is probably most famous for this:
Baby Jane Hudson in Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?
Jane Hudson is a child movie star who flopped as an adult whereas her sister did well. So she torments her sister mercilessly. Ok, you might cry “foul” as this movie has a surprise ending; things aren’t as they seem.
Here is a famous scene:
Annie Wilkes: Misery
A lonely fan rescues a famous writer from a car crash….but then….well, watch the film. The “hobbling” scene is tough to watch. She is almost as creepy as the book character.
General Jack D. Ripper: Dr. Strangelove
Well, he went crazy and started a nuclear war; he felt that because he couldn’t…”get it up”, there must have been some Communist conspiracy to spike the water.
“Alex” Forrest: Fatal Attraction
This is a later version of Play Misty For Me, except this time, the guy is married and the villain doesn’t something very mean to the family bunny.
Evelyn Draper: Play Misty For Me
This is the psycho stalker character:
Mrs. Mott: The Hand that Rocks the Cradle
Mrs. Mott is married to an obstetrician who has a bad habit of sexually molesting his patients. He gets turned in, and commits suicide. Mrs. Mott no longer has access to her husband’s assets due to lawsuits…and so decides to take a long, drawn out revenge on one of the whistleblowers.
Anyone who has a baby and suffers from asthma will find this beyond creepy.
And I remember these scenes:
Martin Burney: Sleeping with the Enemy
Wife beater and creepy stalker; he has the black mustache Wagner listening Hitler like presence. She fakes her death to escape. But it doesn’t quite work out and he ruthlessly tracks her down….
Grady: The Shining
You’ve seen this: the Jack Torrence character who goes crazy while care taking a mountain resort during the winter:
And he does kill and tries to kill his family:
But to me, the REAL villain is Grady who has, well, an interesting way of “correcting” his daughters:
Roman Castevet: Rosemary’s Baby
Ok, now we are in the realm of the “supernatural”. And Roman has a plan for Rosemary and her baby; this is one of the few “supernatural” movies that can still creep me out.
Ok, Ash was really an android:
But he was ruthless and completely willing to sacrifice the crew of a ship to obtain these aliens as a biological weapon. I didn’t see the aliens as villains as they were acting in their own self interest, just as humans would.
And I remember this:
(and yes, the science was pure BS but the movie was a thriller)
Hal decides to kill the crew of a spaceship going to Jupiter when they decide that Hal has made a mistake.
Hal does kill many of them.
The Frogs: Frogs
Ok, the Frogs are mad as hell and aren’t going to take it anymore. Ok, this is a movie about nature’s revenge because of bad ecological practices and the villains are frogs…which are, in reality, cane toads (an invasive species, by the way).
The Frogs direct various assassinations by “ribbiting” (dubbed in Pacific Tree Frog ribbits) and end up ribbiting the main human villain to death.
Bernard Posner: Billy Jack
Bully, Rapist and Murderer. The spoiled son of the local Sheriff; ok, he is a cardboard villain for Billy Jack extract justice from.
Bernard gets rejected:
See Bernard getting beat up (among others)
And the final humiliation:
Ok, this is a bit of a cheat because Hitler was a historical figure and probably one of the very worst monsters of all time. But I am referring to this character, whose famous rant has been made into many parodies. Google “Downfall parody”
Hit Man (unnamed): Bullitt
There were two hit men in Bullitt and a main character that Bullitt was after. My favorite: the character played by professional driver Bill Hickman in this famous scene (he is the driver of the Dodge Charger)
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