blueollie

Crisis of confidence: as you get older…

I am lucky that a Facebook friend gave me a playful taunt about the Steamboat 15K. She is a Bradley graduate and a stepdaughter of a retired colleague who will be back in town for the 15K.

Now I’ve never done well at this race. My times have ranged from a high 1:07 (1999, as a runner) to 1:41 last year, and 1:48 as a walker. I haven’t seen sub 1:10 since 1999, sub 1:20 since 2002 and my last sub 1:30 was 2014 (when I was much faster in the 5K). 1:35 would be a great goal for me.

But never mind that.

What got me to thinking about this post is all of the silly memes aimed at new runners..you know those that say “take “never” out of your vocabulary”, etc. Yeah, I get it: most new runners are capable of doing better than they think is possible.

But I am in a different place.

Yes, I’ve finished 60 events of a marathon or beyond. But what sticks in my mind more are the 7 DNFs, including one time I dropped from a 100 at mile 50 (with a time I’d love to do in a 50 miler) and got 20 more. (pacing others). I remember the literally hundreds of bad workouts I’ve had instead of the successful ones.

Even today: it was cool, (37 F) and dry (for now) and I decided to try my very hilly 8.1 mile “Cornstalk” course (10 good uphills in the middle 6 miles). My time was slow (1:36:01; 48:40/47:20) but I was more worried about being able to complete the workout than anything else. Yes, I’ve done slower. I’ve also done this in the low 1:20’s and faster over the past 2-3 years; it seems as if I’ve been awful since my October marathon. Part of it is 10 extra pounds, I think. Part of it was leg weights yesterday, and part of it was the long lay-off from training.

So, my confidence: I am having trouble distinguishing not having enough confidence and being realistic. After all, the last time I broke 1:30 for the Steamboat, I was running sub 25 minute 5Ks. Now, the equivalent time is 28 minutes; do the math.

And I’ve run half marathons (13.1 miles) faster than today’s 8.1 mile workout time. UGH.

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May 3, 2017 - Posted by | Friends, running |

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