blueollie

Social Anxiety and winter…

Winter has revisited us after a long, welcome hiatus. Ok, ok, I know that global warming is bad for the planet but it did feel good for a few days. So I’ll take it to the treadmill in the public gym this morning. The roads aren’t bad but I am not in the mood to bundle up this morning.

I was a bit startled to see this post on my Facebook feed last night.

socialanxiety

Ok, I read the article.

It was especially interesting to me because there was someone who seemed to respond to my “is anyone here interested in this event…” posts and even invited me once….but then, let’s just say that only 1 out of 4 materialized. The last straw was when they were in the parking lot just when I got there (on time) and texted that they were leaving due to “social anxiety”.

I was angry enough to block them on social media for several months though we had corresponded regularly before that. Fortunately, I did have (and still do have) a circle of very reliable friends to do stuff with.

But, over time I learned more about these sorts of personality (quirks? disorders? ) traits and I think that there are good work-arounds.

For one, I developed online friendships with others and then realized that I had no idea what these people are like in real life; in particular it is highly likely that I never meet my “Facebook fav” in person as she lives about 2000 miles away. So why does geographic proximity preclude such a relationship?

The other thing: for “one on one” outings, the other person freaking out and cancelling really, well not “ruining” an event, can sure put a major damper on it. I am the type that goes anyway…

On the other hand, a group event where one is going to go with several other people is a nice solution; if the one with SA falters there are many others that one can enjoy: “sure, you are invited and I’ll be delighted if you can make it” or perhaps something low key (like a local baseball game) where I was going to go by myself anyway “hey, I’ll be there and if you show, that will be an extra (unexpected) treat and if you don’t, no hard feelings.”

And as to the individual that I talked about: we talk from time to time on social media again; part of what happened was I made an error when I signed on to Instagram for the first time (it listed recommendations and I “accepted all”; when I saw that this person had been requested I was unable to withdraw the request as they had set up “permission required.”

So it worked out well on many levels.

Now, off to the gym.

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February 25, 2017 - Posted by | Friends |

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