And I start to develop just a bit more compassion for others

You’ve seen this one the news many times. Some miscreant has just been arrested for a crime of some sort, and there are the crying parents saying “but, he was SUCH a GOOD BOY”…and then you see the persons criminal record displayed on the screen…usually a long one.

I’ve ridiculed this many times.

You’ve seen the person who has been wronged repeatedly by their spouse/lover…but they stay with that person saying that “they will change”. You shake your head and realize that they will not.

I’ve wondered “are these people BLIND?”

Then, at a very, very, very minor level, it happened to me. NO, this has nothing to do with a spouse, child or a relative. It has to do with an ex-friend, or someone that I had once considered to be a friend.

And the transgressions were very minor in the great scheme of things; they involve a breaking of a couple of social promises (no money, etc.) This individual is smart, credentialed, and has the ability to be charming. And yes, this person is physically attractive too (this matters as humans tend to treat physically attractive people better than those who aren’t). So I really didn’t want to believe what was plainly obvious and should have been plainly obvious as there was ton of evidence for it.

But, I recently reviewed the summary of a disciplinary hearing for this person (they had their professional license suspended for a year due to misconduct and dishonesty) and I read the following:

Also in aggravation, the Respondent did not show any remorse whatsoever or express regret for her actions. As mentioned above, by denying she signed the representation contract or represented [XXX], the Respondent portrayed both her client and another attorney as liars (Tr. 15-16, 71, 98, 114), and she intended to harm her client in regard to his legal malpractice action against her. In the Viola case, discussed above, the attorney acted contrary to his own clients’ interests, but ultimately “acknowledge[d] that he engaged in professional misconduct.” (Petition to Impose Discipline on Consent, p. 4). Finally, the Respondent’s testimony demonstrated that she does not understand the wrongfulness of her misconduct. See In re Rinella, 175 Ill. 2d 504, 518, 677 N.E.2d 909, 916 (1997)

And to note: her client ([XXX]) and “another attorney”) were once her FRIENDS. And yet: no introspection; no remorse at all. That was 11 years ago and evidently nothing has changed.

I didn’t want to believe this and this was just a *friend* (or so I thought) that I really don’t know that well.

How much more difficult would it be for someone that someone actually LOVES, such as a child, relative or spouse? Letting go of what one can’t change can be tough even in minor matters. One time I had to do this in a much more major matter and that month, I consumed a whole bottle of pink bismuth liquid.



May 12, 2016 - Posted by | Friends, social/political | , ,


  1. […] and human companionship IS an essential need. And professional credentials and accomplishments are NOT guarantees of that person being a worthy social companion. But again, I don’t need anyone to tell me on what I *should* enjoy in another person; I KNOW […]

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  2. […] in play: I really think that desperation makes one dumber. When one really likes a candidate or a person, or even a sports team, it is tough to accept an unpleasant reality. I’ve become acquainted […]

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